Today I want to suggest an approach to keeping you mentally in the job search process. Stop whining! The definition of whining is “belly aching to people who don’t really want to hear it.”
Now there is a difference between genuine airing out your feelings and whining about a your job search (or any situation for that matter). Whining sounds like this: “The economy is horrible and I cannot find a job” or “I cannot believe I sent over 100 resumes to job postings and I got no responses” or “My friend said she was going to get my resume in the hands of the hiring manager; its been a week and I haven’t heard anything”. All of these are whining statements. They don’t do ANYTHING to the listener except beg the listener to think of statements they cannot say such as: “Maybe if you stop whining someone would hire you” or “Maybe you are job searching wrong”. These statements many times are held back by your listeners because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
I am here to hurt your feelings…STOP WHINING! Instead of the above mentioned statements, think along the lines of this: “I am having a tough time with my job search, do you have any suggestions” or “Hey hone, what do you think I am doing wrong with my job search” or even better yet “Am I coming across desperate or frustrated?” Asking for someone’s ideas or suggestions might reveal some issues within your personality you never knew existed.
I asked my wife a question like that this weekend and heard a few statements SHE HAS NEVER SAID TO ME. I was not shocked because I was in that mood where she could say anything and I would listen. That mood is not always around. She taught me a few things about how people perceive me. Your spouse, family member or close friend might help you. Stop singing the blues or whining and grow a little today.
Let’s Get Started!